Sunday, July 27, 2008

Veto: Bush Style


Nancy Pelosi recently proposed 'windfall profits' tax legislation in light of record breaking profits by oil companies. The bill passed the house but was later vetoed by president Bush. Upon terminating the Bill's passage into law, Bush offered this signing statement, reading, "Windfall profits tax... on Oil Companies? Hey Pelosi, suck on Exxon ValDeeez Nuts!"

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Big, Happy Countries


A recent study lists the Worlds’ Top 10 happiest, or gayest, countries. According to the study Denmark is the worlds’ gayest country in the world, closely tailed by Rosie O’Donnell.

Well....at least it's not for cats.


Leona Helmsley, the late New York hotel queen, has left her entire estate, an estimated $5-$8 Billion for the welfare of dogs. She outlined all of this in her ‘mission statement’, stating that dogs still won’t be allowed in the hotels.

We Get It!


Now that gay marriage is legal in California, can homosexuals finally shut up and swallow their gay pride?

Hummer Bummer


News of GM possibly discontinuing the Hummer in light of plummeting sales, has led to people remarking near lunch time, “I’m hungrier than a Hummer dealer.”

Tomato Scare Ripple Effects


In wake of the Salmonella-Tomato scare, hack Stand-Up comics are suffering most as their booed off the stage while dodging V-8 Juice.

New York STD Figures


A recent study confirms that 1 in 4 New Yorkers have Herpes. Their easy to spot, however, because their all such dickheads they actually have herpes on their face.

Recipe for Scandal


Cindy McCain was recently caught, again, plagiarizing recipes. Maybe she should steal a recipe for her husband: the Elixir of Youth.

Questions/Comments

Please feel free to comment on my jokes. I'd like to know what you think.